


In Another Universe

by agrajag



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety Attacks, Character Study, M/M, No Dialogue, Texting, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-19
Updated: 2019-01-19
Packaged: 2019-10-12 20:17:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17474291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agrajag/pseuds/agrajag
Summary: Maybe in another universe, Jack listened to his dad's advice. In this universe, Jack had gone back to the Haus, he had caught Bitty in time, and he had said everything he'd been thinking for the past five or so months. He'd make sure that a slightly awkward goodbye at his graduation wasn't the end of their story.





	In Another Universe

**Author's Note:**

> there is no actual dialogue the only dialogue is through text (in case that's not your style)
> 
> there is no actual anxiety attack in the fic, but jack does mention he still has some and is working with a professional on how to deal with them, so be safe!
> 
> also, at one point, jack takes a depression nap

 Maybe in another universe, Jack listened to his dad's advice. (Well, more like his second hand advice, but it was still greatly appreciated either way.) In this universe, Jack had gone back to the Haus, he had caught Bitty in time, and he had said everything he'd been thinking for the past five or so months. Well, maybe not _everything_ since he only had so much time before he and his parents had to leave with George, but he'd make sure that he knew how he felt. He'd make sure that a slightly awkward goodbye at his graduation wasn't the end of their story.

But this wasn't that universe. This was the universe where Jack had simply laughed good naturedly at his dad and had told him there were no 'shots' for him to take. He had stupidly left Samwell without looking back once. He had barely spoken to Bitty since then. His face would light up when he saw Bitty's name in the group chat, because they weren't even talking on an individual basis, and now wasn't that the most pathetic thing you ever heard? And knowing that it might have turned out completely different for them, why, you might ask, did Jack allow it to happen this way? Why hadn't he taken that shot?

Three simple words.

William "Dex" Poindexter.

He had told himself, late at night when sleep would allude him, lying in his too big bed in his too big apartment, that he did it to save Bitty the turmoil of being with a closeted person. A semi-famous closeted person, at that. But that wasn't entirely true. Jack would have done everything within his power to make it work because he wanted nothing more than to make Bitty happy. He had seen how close he and Dex had become over the past year -- once Dex had come out of his shell. He spent almost as much time in the kitchen as Bitty did, although he had made a fuss about it at first. He took to baking, however, like a fish to water and Bitty was ecstatic to pass his knowledge onto someone. And perhaps their relationship could have stayed like that -- friends, with a bit of a mentor/student thrown into mix. Much like how Jack's relationship with Bitty had been -- once _he_ had come out of _his_ shell. Jack was observant. He had to be, not only as a hockey player but as a photographer as well. He had noticed the shared smiles, the little touches, the (on Dex's behalf) blushing.

There was on time, while he had still been living at the Haus, where he had come downstairs to see if there was any apple pie he could have for a snack, only to find Dex wiping some flour (or, well, it could have been some sugar. Jack couldn't tell from where he stood, but he'd bet that Dex could have, and that was just another reason that Bitty should choose him over Jack) from Bitty's cheek. He had blushed, quickly pulling his hand away as if it had been burned, but Bitty had caught his wrist and assured him it was fine. Sure, deep down Jack was jealous because he wished it could have been him in that position, but honestly what he really felt was happy for the two of them. It had felt like a scene from one of those Hallmark movies Shitty made him watch (and promise not to tell anyone he watched them because they were 'inherently misogynistic.') The phrase that came to mind was heart warming. He had backed up slowly so as to not disturb them (because they were so wrapped up in their moment, they hadn't noticed him at all) and went back to his room empty handed. At the time, he had told himself he was feeling down because he was hungry, but in hindsight, he realized that was the moment he had accepted that he had lost his chance with Bitty.

The text came about a month into summer break. Jack was in the gym provided by his apartment building, running on the treadmill, when his music stopped. Once, at first, and then it started blowing up. He decided it was about time he took a break anyway, so he did a quick cool down, and then unlocked his phone as he got comfortable on the bench. It had been the Samwell group chat, which he had figured it was since he didn't exactly text anyone else, and the first in the string of messages had been from Dex.

 **Dex:** So, I've been trying to work up the courage to do this for awhile, but I couldn't bring myself to do it when we were all still on campus, but I still want you guys to be the first to know. I'm gay.

Bitty's response had been instantaneous, and Jack tried to stamp down the sick feeling he got, thinking about how Bitty and Dex might be spending the summer together.

 **Bitty:** I'm so proud of you, hun. 🏳🌈🧡🏒

The rest of the messages had come in almost as fast, which calmed Jack down some more.

 **Shitty:** thnk u 4 ttusting us w/this,, my fnfger snap

 **Shitty:** srry 4 my so;lling i just topk a cple shots in celebarinto

 **Lardo:** Shitty, it's noon.

 **Lardo:** Also, that's s'awesome, Dex. Good for you, bro.

 **Shitty:** Lardo, its 5 ocick spmewhree

Jack laughed at that exchange. It was almost calculated to ease the tension.

 **Chowder:** DEX! I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU!

 **Holster:** S'awesome.

 **Ransom:** S'awesome.

Holster and Ransom's responses had both been sent at the exact same time, so everyone had spammed the chat saying, 'Jinx! You two owe each other a soda.'

 **Holster:** Why is no one saying jinx to Lardo? She also said s'awesome.

 **Lardo:** Yeah, but not because of my freak brain link with my D-man, duh.

 **Ransom:** She's got a point.

 **Bitty:** Hey y'all. I think we're getting a little off track here.

 **Nursey:** Yeah, this is about *MY* D-man. Congrats, bro. 🐣

 **Dex:** Do I even want to know why I'm a chicken?

 **Dex:** Oh, and thank you everyone.

 **Nursey:** It's because you're coming out of your cage and you've been doing just fine.

 **Dex:** I hate you.

 **Nursey:** Gotta gotta be down because you want it all.

It looked like everyone had silently agreed to ignore Nursey, but Jack had to say something.

 **Me:** I haven't been in your shoes, but I understand that it's tough to do what you just did. I'm proud of you.

 **Holster:** Captain Jack! 👏

 **Shitty:** that was fo ducking baduotl bro

 **Shitty:** *brautiful

 **Shitty:** im ducking cry8ing

 **Dex:** Thank you, Jack. That means a lot to me.

 **Me:** Of course. ;)

Jack went back on the treadmill before he could witness the chaos he had unleashed with the use of an old fashioned winky emoji. He wondered how much longer he could get away with them thinking he didn't 'get' modern technology and the like. Well, he'd already fooled Shitty for four years, so he had at least that much time left with everyone else. (He was looking forward to it.) His phone buzzed a few more times before he silenced the group chat for the next few hours and focused on his work out, smiling to himself and ran along to The Kinks's Greatest Hits.

It was the little things in life.

It was a month later that Jack learned that Bitty and Dex _were_ spending some of their summer together.

On the Fourth of July, Bitty sent a picture to the group chat.

Jack had stopped by his favorite coffee shop in Providence (although no place could ever hold a candle to Annie's) and he almost dropped his drink when he opened the attachment. Dex was standing next to Mrs. Bittle in what must be Bitty's childhood home. He looked uncomfortable, with her arm slung around his shoulder, but Jack could tell his smile was genuine. He obviously still needed to get used to friendly contact with he found almost funny that he had the opposite problem that Bitty had. (And then Jack was making himself sad by thinking about their checking practices, so he had to stop that train of thought.) Bitty's message along with the picture simply stated 'Dex visiting for the Fourth!' It was almost redundant since they all could have figured that out, but Jack was glad that Bitty had spent the few second typing it out. He could feel Bitty's excitement through his phone and it made him smile. Jack had been planning to go for a walk through the park nearby, but he found an empty bench on his way there and decided to sit down for a bit and watch the group chat. A minute later, Chowder sent a picture of his own. His and Farmer's smiles blinded him.

 **Chowder:** Hello from California! Happy Fourth!

 **Bitty:** Thank you hun!

 **Bitty:** Dex says thank ya, too. Sadly, Mama has trapped him by the family cook book. 😂

Ransom sent a picture next, standing proud in front of the Canada and Nigerian flags he had hanging on the wall of his bedroom. It reminded him of a picture he and Ransom had taken in their junior year and he smiled.

 **Ransom:** I can't hear you over the power of Canada!

 **Ransom:** But I guess I can wish you guys a Merry Fourth. Or whatever.

 **Holster:** 😂😂😂😂

 **Holster:** Happy Fourth! I'd send a selfie, but I'm on grill duty atm. Dad would kill me if he even saw me on my phone.

 **Nursey:** How are you even texting then? 👀

 **Nursey:** oh and also

Nursey's selfie came through. He was on a patio, which Jack supposed would be more common than a yard in New York City, and he was holding a burger of his own.

 **Nursey:** Veggie ofc Kosher and halal.

 **Holster:** 👍👍👍👍

 **Holster:** And I've got my phone hidden under the grill like I'm in high school again. It's humiliating.

 **Bitty:** OMG Holster. 😂 You're a riot.

Jack was halfway finished with his coffee by then, but he figured he should join in. He wasn't going to take a full on selfie (because that would give everyone a heart attack and he couldn't do that to them on a holiday) but he could take a picture of his coffee. That was a thing people do. He held the cup at arm's length and took a quick snap with his phone. He tried to ignore his inner photographer, telling him to retake it so the lighting was better, as he hit send.

 **Me:** Not celebrating much, but I splurged for a large today.

 **Shitty:** OMFG Jack beat me to the selfie game. RIP me.

 **Shitty:** Jack, you beaut, looking great. Even if it is only your hand.

Then Shitty sent his selfie, which Jack should have known not to open in public. Shitty was naked, with only one of those little hand held American flags covering his junk. He was saluting the camera. Jack laughed, coffee coming out of his nose. It almost made him forget about how no one was surprised that Dex had gone to Georgia for the Fourth of July. Were they already together and the rest of the team knew? No, they wouldn't do that to him. They probably must have noticed all the small things like Jack had. Or, and this made a hell of a lot more sense, it wasn't weird for friends to visit each other. Holster and Ransom went to Niagara Falls together every summer. Shitty and Lardo met up almost every other weekend during the break. Ollie and Wicks went on that cruise last summer. (Though, Jack was pretty sure that _was_ romantic. They might even be engaged, at that point.) So, it was Jack who was the odd one out. It probably was an unspoken rule to not mention summer hang outs to him so as to not upset him. It made sense. He _did_ prefer to be alone, but he could have felt obligated to tag along if he had been invited. His friends were just looking out for him in their own way. He sent on last text to tell Shitty 'looking good' and finally made his way to the park.

You could say August was a bad time for Jack. As much as he had loved his time at Samwell, the end of the summer reminded him of leaving for school that first time, and the disappointment it brought. If you started saying certain times of the year were 'bad times,' however, soon you'd be saying the whole year was a never ending bad time. Dr. Wong had been working with Jack to find a way to help him deal with anxiety that he'd get at this time of the year, and while the exercises _did_ help, nothing beat watching a history documentary on Netflix. He had just set the AC on the perfect setting, had made some popcorn, and had laid down on the couch to watch Fire in the Blood. He was probably about twenty minutes in when the all too familiar buzzing of his phone distracted him. Grumbling to himself, he hit pause and pulled up the group chat to see if it was anything life threatening. He had to scroll quite a bit of a ways to get to the start of this particular conversation because everyone (and that meant everyone and not just the usual culprits) were sending variations of congratulations mixed with appropriate (okay and some completely inappropriate) emojis. It felt as if he had scrolled for a mile by the time he reached the beginning and his breath caught in his throat as he read the message.

It felt as if his heart was going to either pound out of his chest or fly right up out of his throat.

The message responsible for this reaction was from Bitty. (Most life changing texts were.) All it said was what Jack had suspected for months. So why did it hurt so much?

 **Bitty:** We wanted y'all to be the first ones to know. Also, since y'all would've figured it out anyway.

 **Bitty:** Dex and I are dating. 😚

And then that's when the congratulations had started pouring in. Eve some of the freshmen who would be starting come the end of the month were joining in. It would look bad if he didn't say anything. This is what he wanted, after all. Well, it had been Plan B, but Plan A was always unattainable, so yeah. This was what he wanted. It was so hard to even type the word congratulations, though, when burning hot jealously coursed through him, sneering 'It should be me.'

So, finally, he typed out the one thing he could safely say.

 **Me:** I'm glad you're happy.

 **Dex:** Thanks Jack.

 **Bitty:** Thank you, Jack! That means so much to me.

Jack had to tamp down any hope that 'means so much to me' hinted at Bitty having any feelings for him. He abandoned his documentary, along with his phone buried in the couch cushions, and crawled into bed for the rest of the day. He thought about calling Dr. Wong, but he didn't want to bother him with something so trivial. Though, he supposed most people who actually had significant relationships would discuss them with their therapists. Jack hadn't even mentioned Kenny to Dr. Shelly when she came around to talk to him after... _after_. He still couldn't even think the word, which probably meant he wasn't healed enough to put himself out there romantically. Bitty definitely deserved better than someone who couldn't talk about parts of their past.

No, he was warping what he'd learned in therapy to custom fit his current pity party.

When he finally crawled out of bed the next morning, the first thing he did was dig for his phone. (Though, that shouldn't have been the first. He should have brushed his teeth, at least. He probably had kernels of popcorn stuck everywhere.) He could feel his love for Bitty with every word, and it still _hurt_ , but he knew that loving Bitty as a friend was just as important of a task. He hit send before he could convince himself that that was hogwash.

 **Me:** Hey, first game, I've got tickets for you and Dex, if you guys can make it.

Of course, there wasn't a response after the first few minutes. Bitty had never been a morning person, and it was summer. He was probably still fast asleep. Jack definitely wouldn't hold it against him, but he refused to waste his day waiting for a response, so he tucked his phone into his pocket and started in on some chores he may have let go for the past week or so. He was in the middle of cleaning all the windows in his apartment when he felt his phone vibrate against his leg.

 **Bitty:** Goodness me. Jack, you're too kind.

 **Bitty:** I can bring 🍪🍪🍪 in exchange. LOL.

 **Me:** Well, I won't protest, but it is a gift for the two of you.

 **Bitty:** Well, then, how can we say no? Thank you, Jack.

**Me:** Any time. 

**Me:** What are friends for? 

Jack finished up with his cleaning and started working on a recipe Bitty sent him at the beginning of the summer.  
Maybe in another universe, Bitty would have been there with him, showing Jack how it was properly done. He'd be dancing around the kitchen to Beyonce as he worked, and maybe it would be one of the ones that Jack knew so he could sing along. Then later, Jack would make some grand gesture, tell Bitty those three words, and they'd shove the food out of the way to worry about later. 

But this wasn't that universe. 


End file.
